Special Project: Analyzing Private Electronic Communications
Summary
In this article, we discuss the process of analyzing private electronic communications using algorithms and patterns. We also touch upon the importance of disguises in gathering intelligence.
Table of Contents
- Reading and Analyzing Emails
- Algorithms and Patterns
- The Importance of Disguises
Reading and Analyzing Emails
Henry Toppl, the principal, talks to Nicol about the data sets and how everyone is treating her well. He then asks about the 33 RLs she submitted, specifically the News Winter email. Nicol explains how they scan data for patterns and key phrases using algorithms. Henry is surprised and asks how she had time to read all those emails, to which Nicol explains that they use algorithms to scan the data.
Algorithms and Patterns
Henry asks if the algorithm is like Dvorak’s equation, but Nicol explains that it is a stochastic matrix of letter dice enclosed in a discrete plastic cube, developed by DARPA in the 1950s. They used it to communicate with hostages in Tehran. Henry is confused and asks if she means Boggle, but Nicol is unsure. Henry reminisces about the old days when they used disguises instead of computers. Nicol agrees that a fake mustache is worth a hundred computers when it comes to gathering intelligence.
The Importance of Disguises
Henry talks about his experience using a mustache called the Undertaker’s Broom to infiltrate Noriega’s palace, which he considers one of the top ten fake mustaches ever deployed in defense of the nation. However, he laments that the mustache budget was slashed in the 1990s in favor of computers. Nicol suggests growing his own mustache, but Henry explains that it wouldn’t be a disguise, and he can’t produce testosterone since he accidentally licked a bunch of Forever stamps two years ago. Nicol is surprised and asks if he knows that the post office doses them, and Henry explains that they are called Forever stamps because you can use them forever.
Conclusion
In conclusion, analyzing private electronic communications is a complex process that involves algorithms and patterns. However, the importance of disguises in gathering intelligence cannot be overlooked, as they can be worth more than computers in certain situations.
